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  I sighed. “Four of them. Who the fuck has four these days? But then the way they carry on you would think that they had twenty.”

  “That’s a bit of an exaggeration, Ross. You know that we’re just a bit protective, because of what happened…”

  Then there was that uncomfortable silence that happened whenever we talked about Amelia losing her baby. She went through something, something that no woman should ever experience. It was so fucking dark. Craig took a lot of time off work to help her through it. I know that was part of the reason they were part of the Fifty Shades club. It meant that they could reconnect.

  “Okay, we wouldn’t want to keep her waiting,” Olivia said. I could tell by her expression that she’d brought up a topic that she shouldn’t have done. Or rather I had. Either way, Craig agreed, and we got into the elevator and headed out.

  “Olivia, I think that you’ve put a magic spell on my friend.”

  She laughed, “Why do you say that?”

  I knew that he was going to say something that would make me regret agreeing to the date night. Two fucking weeks and I was watching shows and doing everything that I’d never in a million years have thought of doing.

  The whole thing should have bugged me. Made me want to break up with her, given me that itch. Maybe Craig was right and Olivia was some kind of witch and she’d put me under some magic spell.

  “I’ve never been on a double date with Ross, and do you want to know how many years I’ve known him?”

  Olivia’s eyes darted to me, but then Craig offered his arm for her to loop in so that they could walk and talk.

  “Ever since college, nearly ten years ago.”

  Now I was the one doing the laughing, “It was over twelve years ago.”

  Craig stops in his tracks. “For someone’s that’s the fucking CFO, You’re kind of crap at maths.”

  “I don’t think that it’s the math that’s the problem, just the denial of his true age,” Olivia said. I smiled at her. She had a tendency to say things that a guy would say.

  The restaurant was a couple of blocks from the office, so we decided to walk there. Besides, it was a nice night, why not walk and it gives the driver a day off? The man worked too hard.

  “Come here,” Olivia called for me to walk on the other side of her. Now she was in between two guys.

  “I bet this is your secret fantasy.”

  She laughed. “Until I met you I didn’t really think about it.”

  “Really?” Craig raised an eyebrow.

  She replied, “No, the only thing I wanted to do was get to where I desired in my career.”

  “God, you guys are perfect for each other.”

  It was then that we reached the restaurant and strangely enough, Amelia was waiting outside.

  “What you doing out here hon?” Craig asked as he kissed her on the cheek.

  “I hate sitting in a restaurant alone. I prefer to be outside.”

  It was then that he kissed her again and said, “So you can smoke?”

  I glanced across the curb; she must have thrown it when she saw us.

  “Just one night. Come on.” She shrugged her shoulders, and before Craig could reply, Amelia darted toward Olivia. “You must be the woman that’s put a spell on Ross.”

  Where had we heard that before?

  Olivia started to hobble and said, “I’m the wicked witch of the East and I’ve put a spell on your friend. Okay?”

  We laughed at her. It was then that I realized that not only was she beautiful, but funny too. I was in fucking trouble. Because I was falling in love with this woman. I never did call Lenny to join the club, with Olivia by my side the whole idea of being with another woman felt weird. I’d never been like this, I shook my head at the idea of being with this one woman.

  Yet, for some reason it didn’t feel so bad. In fact it felt fucking good.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Olivia

  There was one thing that Ross wasn’t getting and that was another pretty young secretary. He’d given me the chore of finding him a secretary and that was exactly what I intended to do.

  Interviews were being held, and I made sure that notices went out on the Internet and the agencies about the type of candidates that Ross needed.

  Part of me felt bad for making this decision. I loved him and our relationship needed to be built on trust.

  “Maybe this isn’t a good idea, Amelia. After all, I need to be able to trust Ross. Relationships need to be based on that.”

  She looked at me with her dark eyes as we had coffee, before I went up to start interviewing the candidates. We were sitting in a table in the corner of Starbucks, hoping that neither Ross nor Craig spotted us in there. For some reason whenever they saw us both together talking, they started to get nervous. I was just happy that Amelia was nice. She was a bit controlling, but I did feel at ease with her and besides, I didn’t really have any friends. Not anymore. When Mom got sick they all ran away as if her illness were contagious. One friend even said to me that staying around me made her feel old. As if we all wouldn’t get there one day! But for some reason people seemed to be in denial of this. Even so-called friends.

  “Stuff that. Men like to be controlled and not in a way that’s obvious. So you don’t tell him what to do. You just make out that it’s his idea.”

  “But Craig’s always bitching to Ross about going to the Fifty Shades club.”

  She nodded, “I know, but he needs to do that to look like a man in front of Ross. He can’t tell him what’s really going on.”

  “What’s that?”

  Amelia laughed, and said, “It was my idea to go to the Fifty Shades club the first time. But I only wanted to go to one event. It’s Craig that’s keeps dragging me to them every fucking week.” Now she had got me curious and I wanted to give this damn club a try. I’ve got a feeling that Ross does too, he talks about it too much not to be interested in it at all.

  “Men want to control women.”

  Being with Ross made me realize that I’d never been in a relationship before. I’d been with men, sure, but always with the thought that my career was number one and that love was a fool’s game.

  “Did you just say…?”

  Amelia nodded. “You need to let them be the ones that think that they’re in control. Then, while they’re not looking, play the victim. Make out that if they don’t go along with it, then they’ll upset you. If that doesn't work, then make out that you’ll leave.”

  “Now that’s a bit drastic. We’ve only just started dating.”

  She laughs, “Really? So you don’t think there’s any future for your both?”

  Amelia crossed her arms and made me feel nervous as she waited for my reply.

  “I like to think that there is.”

  “You’re kidding me. I see the way that you look at him and the way he looks at you. Let me be frank with you.” She moved closer across the table. “Before you came along, Ross hadn’t been with a real woman. Sure, girls and playthings. But no one he took to dinner. Let alone went to meet their parents.”

  I had a flashback of him saying that he wanted to meet Mom and how it had made me feel. But then Aunt Veronica had insisted on them both watching Billionaires and once again Ross had decided that every Friday night was their Billionaires night. Ross found it hilarious how billionaires behave on TV compared to real life. He didn’t realize that they were practically one and the same.

  “I know.”

  “So fight for him, Olivia, and get those old ladies or men to interview for the position and when they’re done give one of them to Ross. He told you to hire someone,” she lifted her eyebrow.

  “Yes, but he doesn’t know that they’ll be over sixty years old.”

  “Oh, what’s a little surprise now and again, when you’re in love? Put on a sexy number and pour a glass of champagne and tell him. He’ll be too infatuated to even hear what you’re saying.”

  I laughed. “Just like some of the candidate
s.”

  We both raised our cups and saluted the Outer Reach program which I discovered by chance. Or rather the one that Amelia had pointed me to, would be the perfect way to get a secretary for Ross. It was for people over fifty who couldn’t get back into employment. It was against the law to discriminate against someone’s age, but with rising taxes and inflation, some of them needed to get back into work. I had a couple of ladies whose résumés looked perfect. I just hoped that Ross would see it my way.

  Then again, as Amelia had politely highlighted, I just needed to make him think that it was his idea.

  As I got back to Ross’s office, they were waiting outside. Ross and Craig were supposed to be at some kind of golf tournament with a couple of potential clients. They should have left when I was in Starbucks with Amelia, but Ross always managed to make a surprise visit. Sometimes I thought that he did it to check up on me.

  And predictably enough, he strolled into his office.

  “Are those my potential secretaries?”

  I nodded.

  “Good, just choose the right candidate.”

  “You don’t mind…” I was just about to ask him about their age.

  “No, just like a mature wine, they get better with age. That’s what I found with you.” Then he walked back out again. Was he complementing me or insulting me?

  I thought about the wink and gesture he’d made when he left. I decided that he was insulting me, and promptly disregarded Amelia’s idea of dressing up all sexy and surprising him. Like a mature wine, I didn’t feel like being refined that night.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ross

  Olivia and I had been seeing each other for a couple of months. Yet I couldn’t fucking believe that I was going along with what we were doing that night. I was simultaneously trying to keep a straight face and put a smile on it. But it was so fucking hard, especially with Olivia smiling at me every minute.

  “Ross, if you don’t want to go in, then we can just go home.”

  I patted her hand, thinking about us having sex anywhere and everywhere and now we were going to talk about it with a bunch of strangers. I should have fucking backed out. That’s what Craig used to do with his wife.

  Speak off the devil, “Shit, can’t believe you came,” he laughed as he patted me on the back.

  “Olivia, you’re a good woman.” She winked back at him. I wished there was less of this secret language between the two of them and more talking. Amelia took Olivia’s hand and they entered the building. The one that I really didn’t want to go into.

  “Why should I suffer alone?” Craig said as he opened the door for me.

  “’Cause you’re a wimp!” I reminded him as I passed him.

  “Fuck you, Ross. You could have told Olivia that you didn’t want to come. But you didn’t.”

  “There fucking better be other saps here too, otherwise Craig. I’m really not fucking coming back. Whether Olivia likes it or not.”

  “That’s what I said Ross, and every fucking week, we’re here.”

  As the elevator doors opened, Amelia smiled, “You would think that they had to do all the cooking, cleaning, and washing the way them two are carrying on. It’s only a night out with couples and they look as if they’re going to hell or something?”

  I scoffed. “We could have gone to a restaurant.”

  “We do that all the time, Ross,” Olivia laughed, and I started to wonder whether this was what happened to women when you fell in love. They decided to take over your body, mind and any fucking sense that you had left.

  As the doors opened, Amelia grabbed my hand and said, “You’ll love it. Craig never did at first, now he forces me to come.”

  “What?”

  “That wasn’t what he’d said to me. He’d told me that it was the other way around!” I blurted out thinking that this guy was getting on my last nerve.

  Craig had a big smile on his face, the same fucking one that he used to have on his face whenever he cheated on a test and didn’t get caught. I really should have known better.

  Then as Olivia opened the door and I saw the fucking sign, I sighed so fucking loud that it was clear that I didn’t want to be here. Not one fucking bit.

  A blonde lady with too much make-up greeted us, telling us about the event. “It’s so nice to see some men here.”

  “What did you say? Aren’t there any?”

  She smiled, but her question was directed at Olivia. “Is this his first time?”

  She nodded, “I’m afraid it is.”

  “Well, at The Official Fifty Shades Club we try and treat everyone the same regardless of whether they’re men or women. Is that okay with you?”

  I nodded, but I had no idea what we were doing here.

  As she opened the door, I laughed as I did a quick scan of the room. I felt as if I was in a hall of mirrors, because all I could see was sex, sex and more sex. There were a few men. More ladies. There was a section for sex toys. Another which seemed to be a discussion about the book, another about the movies, and then there were things for sale such as clothes. Shit, I knew that I loved sex, but this was like a sex fest. I hadn’t known what to expect, but then it was kind of silly to think that it would be anything, but sex, sex and more sex.

  One thing was for sure: This might have been my first day, but I was going to fucking make sure that it was my last.

  I grabbed Craig’s arm and said, “I’m going to fucking kill you once we get out of here.”

  He laughed. “I bet like me, you say that you hate it. But by the end of the night you’ll be signing up for next week.”

  I fucking doubted!

  I fucking doubted it very much!

  Epilogue

  Olivia

  I have around one week to go until our baby is due. I can’t believe how much things have changed in such a short space of time. Well, not exactly a short space of time, but in the space of a year. Ross has managed to get the best mature secretary that he could imagine and he saves all his pleasure for me once he comes home.

  Either that or his Fifty Shades buddies.

  Letting him join was the worst thing that I could ever have done. The man’s obsessed; he’s either at lunch with them, playing tennis, watching the movie—how many fucking times can you watch the movie?—or discuss the book with them. It’s like they’re obsessed with the damn thing.

  Even Amelia and I have stopped going to the events, hoping that Craig and Ross would follow suit. It just made them want to go even more. Ross was even talking about setting up a Fifty Shades roadshow, for him and the guys.

  I don’t even want to know what it entails?

  “Ross!” I call out as I’ve been to the bathroom three times and every time I think that I want to pee—nothing.

  I think back to our antenatal class. What did they say again?

  “Dear, he’s on the phone to one of his buddies,” Aunt Veronica says as Mom’s holding the popcorn and she’s holding the bottles of beer.

  Great, they’re getting ready to see the rerun of The Walking Dead. Aunt Veronica says that she can only watch it tipsy. It stops her from having nightmares, even if it’s three in the afternoon.

  “I’ve been to the bathroom three times. I think that something’s happening.”

  Mom points at me, “Looks like it’s already happened!”

  “Does this mean?”

  Aunt Veronica nods, “Yes, we’ll have to watch the rerun later. We need to get to the hospital now.”

  “Oh my God, Ross!”

  He’s by my side. “Babes, did you pour water on yourself?”

  I shake my head.

  “This means…!”

  I nod.

  Aunt Veronica became animated. “Don’t just stand there man! We need to get to the hospital quick. Sis, put the beer in the fridge. We’ll watch the rerun later.”

  Then we all scuttle, panic coming from all of our voices. Somehow Aunt Veronica calls Carl and he’s standing outside ready to jump in the ca
r.

  “How did you get here so quick?” I say, as we get in the car.

  “Oh, Aunt Veronica has me on speed-dial. So she just calls me twice and it means to come over.”

  I look at her, forgetting my pain for a brief second, wondering if we’re really related. No matter how many times I think that, she always manages to remind me that we are.

  “No time to think. Just get in the car!” Ross screams as he tells the driver to get out and he’ll drive us to the hospital.

  That’s the first mistake. Ross starts driving before I even get in there. The car door slams and he’s gone like fire.

  “Good, now he’s out of the way. Let’s go!” Aunt Veronica shouts to Carl. That’s when a new car, one that I’ve never seen before, is being opened by Mom as she says, “Get in.”

  I’m too much in pain to ask and I don’t have the strength to have a conversation, but as we start heading to the hospital I feel the need to push so fucking hard. As if the baby’s coming now and it can’t wait until we get there.

  “Mom, I can’t hold on,” I say as I hold on to her hand. Then she starts to sing to me. The same way that she used to do when I was a kid. Suddenly the memories flooded back of her holding me and telling me that everything was going to be okay when I was being bullied by the other kids for being too thin or too short. She used to hum it to me all the time. No words, just a lullaby. When I was in the playground and no one would want to play with me, it gave me the strength to go back and go on the swings alone.

  The next few minutes became indistinct as I start to go to sleep. I no longer felt strong, but weak, as if something else was taking over my body.

  “Don’t let her sleep! In Grey’s Anatomy it happened to a woman and she lost the baby. Just don’t let her sleep!”

  “It doesn’t matter: we’re here,” Carl says, “And so is Ross.”

  Then I’m being told to take deep breaths and there’s a stranger holding my hand. Judging by her white coat, she’s a doctor.

  “Olivia can you hear me?”

  I nod as I feel weak and unable to move. I feel as if something’s stuck between my legs and I suspect that it’s my baby.